The Wonderful Sound of Whining

At 3 years old, my son has just started whining. Oh my goodness!! It’s like nails on a blackboard!!!! It seems like he's whining all the time.

"MMAAAMMMMAAAA, I wwwannntt my ttttoooyyyyyyy!"
"But it's mine"
"It's not bath time"
"Two minutes is not finished"
"I want that"
“Help me”
“Nnnnooooo”
“I’m tttiiirrrreeed”
“Ppppllllleeeeeaaassseeee”
"MMMMAAAAAMMMMMAAAAA"
And the list continues.

I often tell my Husband that I'm changing my name from "Mama" to anything else but Mama....and not tell anyone what my new name.

There are many reasons why children whine: they can be tired, hungry, feel-ignored, frustrated, or sick. While I understand these reasons and that whining is a form of communication, it is one of the most annoying sound a child can make. It's so draining and exhausting.

So, what do to about it? There are lots of articles on solutions for whining.

How a parent responds to whining, will determine how long the child will use this tactic. Here's what I've started (in no particular order):

Tip 1: NEVER give in to whining! That's the new mantra around the house! Instead, I get down at my son's level and I tell him, "Mama can't understand you when you whine. Please talk to me in your normal, wonderful voice." If he doesn't stop whining, I ignore him for a few minutes and then, tell him again "Mama can't understand you when you whine. Please talk to me in your normal wonderful voice." And if that doesn't work, then I have a "whining spot" set up. It's the only place he can whine. If he doesn't want to go there, he has to stop whining.

Tip 2: Show your child how he/she should talk. They may not know how to ask for what they want, even if they are very verbal. "I can't understand you when you whine. Please say, "Mama, may I have that toy please?"

Tip 3: Children may not hear the difference between their beautiful voices and the horrible whining voice. Make a game out of teaching them the difference. Exaggerate the whining voice and then switch to your normal voice.

Tip 4: Watch your child's schedule. Sometimes, kids whine because they are hungry, tired, overstimulated or bored.

Tip 5: Praise your child when he/she doesn't whine. If your child normally whines when asking for a snack but today, asked nicely, you can say, "You may have a snack. You did a great job asking for it with your normal tone. Great job!"

Tip 6: Be a role model. Make sure you’re not whining. Children mimic what we say and do.

Tip 7: Spend quality time with your child(ren). The key word is “quality”. For example, instead of spending 30 minutes with your child while you’re on the computer, cooking dinner, looking at a magazine, spend 10 un-interrupted minutes with your child(ren).

Tip 8: Redirect whining. I tell my son that he can whine in the foyer or he can stay with me, calm down and tell me what he wants.

Tip 9: As the parent, stay calm. Take a deep breath or leave for a moment. The calmer you are, the more in control you will be and the better the outcome.

These tips have actually worked in my home! Not all the time, but one success is enough to know that it can work. Good luck!